


Someone Could Love Him

by Arandil



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 15:16:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arandil/pseuds/Arandil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Deathly Hallows and slightly AU - after all, Snape Lives! And he's developed some inexplicable feelings for the girl responsible for saving him. Is it gratitude? Or something more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone Could Love Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [satismagic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/satismagic/gifts).



> "Yeah? Who on earth would want Snape in love with them, that is a very horrible idea. Erm"  
> –JK Rowling

Severus Snape stood in the doorway of the infirmary, staring at the girl lying unconscious in the only occupied bed. He was barely aware of the words Minerva McGonagall was speaking; something about returning to the position of Headmaster for one more year at least – something Severus did not want to do. Poppy Pomfrey fluttered into the room, right to the girl, and shooed away the boy sitting next to her, holding her limp hand.

 _Potter_. His mind twisted the name into an ugly, foul-sounding curse, but he quickly curbed his reaction. Now was not the time to linger on old hatreds. He watched as Poppy examined Granger… _Hermione._ Her name sounded completely different from Potter's in his mind and Severus closed his eyes at the sound of it. She had saved his life; of course he would have softened towards the young Gryffindor. And as her teacher and Headmaster, it was his job to be concerned for her welfare. Of course he would want to know she would recover. Of course he would be drawn here every waking hour of the day to hover like a bat in the doorway.

Potter leaned towards Hermione and Severus's insides clenched. McGonagall had stopped talking and he used it as an excuse to look away from the scene in front of him, but Potter only whispered in Hermione's ear. Severus felt inexplicable relief and chastised himself for it. Why should he be relieved? Why should he care what two _students_ – his mind stressed the word – did to or with each other? Besides, it was ridiculous for him to feel this way; Hermione was dating Weasley, not Potter. Severus stopped his train of thought. It was ridiculous for him to feel this way _regardless_.

"Of course I'll resume the position of Headmaster, if that's what you think is best," he answered. _It's what I always do, what is needed_ , he thought bitterly.

Potter passed him on his way out of the infirmary. "Professor," the boy acknowledged him, his name sounding much the same as Potter's had in Severus's head.

Severus silently folded his arms across his chest and glared down his nose at the boy as he walked past.

"You really ought to be more kind to him," McGonagall said, once Potter was out of earshot. "He saved us all, you know."

"I know," Severus said slowly, hating every second of having to give even that much credit to the boy. "A fact that I'm sure Mr Potter will use to his every advantage."

"Oh!" McGonagall exclaimed. "I never understood why you disliked him and his friends so much, house rivalries aside."

At the mention of Potter's friends, Severus glanced quickly back into the infirmary. The action was not lost on McGonagall.

"Well, at least I would hope you show _her_ some kindness when she wakes up."

If _she wakes up_. The words came into Severus's mind, quick and unwelcome. By the look on McGonagall's face, she was thinking the same thing. Seeing his own worries reflected in someone else's eyes caused an ache to begin in his chest.

 _What is wrong with me?_ he thought. They had lost so many; this should not be affecting him so. _It is because she saved my life_ , he assured himself. _That is why this one matters so much_. He realized McGonagall was waiting for a response

"I will do what I can."

* * *

Severus stood in front of the classroom full of Gryffindor and Slytherin first-years, nervously fidgeting in their seats. _So much for Gryffindor bravery._ After taking role call – and controlling himself admirably, he thought – he began the class as he always did at start of term.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making…" As he continued his speech, he sized up each student. His eyes lingered on the girl in the front of the room, perched on the edge of her seat like a cat about to spring. He asked one of the other Gryffindor students a question which he, as expected, couldn't answer. Some of the Slytherin boys laughed but Severus's attention was drawn back to the girl as her hand shot up in the air. She was insufferable. He tried to ignore her and sneered at the boy who couldn't answer a simple question.

"Tut, tut – fame clearly isn't everything."

The girl stood up, all indignation. "You will _not_ talk to Harry that way."

 _That's not what happened._ The thought made no sense and distracted Severus from the insubordinate student.

"That's right." The boy – Potter – stood as well, but he was taller, older. He put his arm around the young girl with bushy hair and big teeth. "Do you think by insulting _me_ you will make _her_ want _you_?"

They were alone in the room now, the three of them. Severus glared at the two students until he heard a voice behind him, light and breezy.

"Now, Harry," Severus spun to face the owner of the voice. Before him stood Hermione as she had looked three years ago at the Yule Ball, formal dress robes and all. She gave him a winning smile before continuing to chastise Potter. "You ought not to tease Severus." His name, spoken by her, did unexplainable things to his body.

"Snivellus, you mean." Severus's hands turned into fists as he recognized this new voice. Sure enough when he turned back to Harry an all too familiar adversary stood where the young Hermione had been.

"Snivellus – that's a good one, Dad." Harry laughed.

"You're dead." Severus whispered, trying to control his anger.

"Are you threatening me, Snivellus?" James's face was contorted into an ugly mask. Hatred oozed from Severus. How had Lily ever thought him attractive?

"You don't know him as I did, Sev." Lily appeared to his right, taking his hand in hers and uncurling his fist with her fingers. Just as his mouth started to turn up in a smile, she walked away from him, joining her husband and son. His stomach turned as she put her arm around James and her hand on Harry's shoulder.

"What's the matter Snivellus?" James sneered.

Hermione stepped next to Severus now: not the child, not the girl from the Yule Ball, but the older Hermione – the one who had saved him. She slipped her arms around his waist, pressed her body against his and looked up into his eyes.

"Severus…" she breathed. His whole body tingled. She took his arms and wrapped them around her small frame, returned hers to his waist and pressed herself even closer to him. He felt his body start to respond in ways he would never have thought possible.

"Do you really think she wants _you_?" Potter's voice – the younger Potter – distracted Severus and he glared at the boy.

"Why would they want _you_ when they can have _us_?" James said, smiling evilly.

Suddenly, Severus felt cold and looked down to see why. Hermione had distanced herself from him, walking backwards until she was next to Harry. She put her arm around him the same as Lily had around James. Severus barely noticed that the older two were no longer there.

"Snivellus," she giggled and Severus's blood ran cold. "That's funny, Harry."

And then he was kissing her, his hands on her in ways that made Severus's stomach turn. Potter opened his eyes and looked at Severus over Hermione's shoulder, his green eyes mocking.

Severus woke, clenching his bed sheets with both hands. He was sweating and out of breath.

This was not right. It had to stop. He got out of bed and quickly dressed in a robe and slippers. Not sure where he was going, but knowing he had to get out of his chambers, he banged through the door into the empty hallways deep in Hogwarts castle. He was neither surprised nor comforted to find that his feet had taken him up to the Hospital wing. He _was_ surprised, however, to find that he was not the only one who had come.

Hermione slept, still. And next to her on the chair was Potter, head back, snoring loudly. It was amazing that he didn't wake Hermione. At that thought a pang went through Severus. He would be eternally grateful if anything Potter did – if anything _anyone_ did – woke the girl.

He walked into the room and Potter startled out of his sleep. The boy reached out toward the small bedside table, fumbled around a few seconds for his glasses and then, finding them, slipped them on his face.

"Professor," he said, suppressing a yawn.

"Potter." Severus tried to keep as much animosity out of his voice as he could, but it was difficult, especially since he couldn't get the image from his dream out of his head. "Best you not let Weasley find you here."

The boy chuckled and rubbed his eyes. "Which one?" Belatedly, Severus remembered that Potter was dating the Weasley girl. He felt a little more tolerant of him spending so much time at Hermione's bedside.

"Either, I supposed." He continued quickly, lest he lose his nerve for what he was about to say. "As such, you may leave now. I can pass the remainder of the night here."

Harry stood and started for the door. He had barely taken a few steps when he stopped and turned back towards Severus.

"She loves Ron." Severus wondered what would prompt the boy to say such a thing when, if as on cue, Hermione mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "Severus". As one, they both looked down at her sleeping figure.

Potter narrowed his eyes and glared at Severus. "She saved your life. She is a kind person, but she loves Ron."

Before Severus could respond, Potter turned and stormed out of the room without a backward glance.

* * *

The two youngest Weasleys came back to Hogwarts the next morning.

Initially, when the decision had been made to keep Hermione in the Hospital wing instead of having her moved to St. Mungo's, everyone had been under the same impression, that she had collapsed from exhaustion and after having slept herself out – two or three days at the most – she would wake up and return to her Muggle home for the summer. Harry had been allowed to stay with his friend because, it seemed to Severus, everyone else in the known world simply let the boy do whatever he wished, especially now that he was credited for defeating the Dark Lord twice. Twice! As if he had anything to do with it the first time!

But now, a month later, when Hermione still lay motionless on the bed, they were reconsidering. Perhaps she would fare better at St Mungo's. Severus disagreed, but doubted his own reasons for doing so.

So today was the day the final decision would be made. Weasley wanted to be there for the decision and Severus supposed his sister tagged along so that she might see Potter. He winced, reminded of his dream from the previous night. Footsteps approached in the hall outside the infirmary and Severus stood, taking a few steps away from the bed towards the door.

It was only the two boys that had come to the infirmary. The Weasley girl must not like Potter quite as much as everyone thought. Severus smiled inwardly to himself, not being able to resist enjoying this slight to the son of someone who made his life at school a living hell. His thoughts turned to Ron and he eyed the boy from his shock of messy red hair to his freckles to the general unkempt look of his clothing.

 _What does Granger see in this dunderhead?_ he wondered.

"What's _he_ doing here," Weasley muttered to Potter, "the dirty git."

Harry's eyes flicked to Severus and for the briefest moment their gazes locked before the boy answered Weasley.

"He's been helping. You know, with Hermione."

As if in response to her name, the girl moaned in her sleep. Both boys looked down at her and Severus involuntarily took a step forward. Potter's eyes flicked up and met his, narrowing slightly, before his glance landed on Weasley, whose eyes were still downcast.

"I wish he wasn't here." Weasley muttered. As if it were Severus's fault the girl lay unconscious.

"Me neither," Potter said, but for some reason Severus didn't actually believe him. "But…"

Potter didn't get a chance to finish his thought because at that moment, the most glorious moment in the past who knew how long, Hermione opened her eyes.

All the air rushed from the room. Or perhaps Severus just temporarily forgot how to breathe. Her eyes, so warm even in their grogginess, looked from her one friend to the other and a small smile appeared on her lips.

"Harry," she whispered, her voice hoarse from long disuse. "Ron." She moved to sit up but both boys reached out to prevent it and, with a frown, she relaxed into her pillow. "Where's…?"

"It's alright!" Potter exclaimed, his face jubilant. "She's alright, Ron!" He laughed, almost hysterical.

Weasley didn't answer but looked like he was about to cry. Severus shook his head. Had he been in the boy's shoes, he would have had a completely different reaction. He would have…

He mentally slapped himself before his mind could finish the thought.

"No." Hermione's voice was getting stronger. "Where is he?"

"Where is who?" Weasley managed to find his voice, thought it broke on the last word.

"Professor Snape."

Severus stepped forward, his stomach in a knot. He barely noticed Weasley turn to stare at him with unpleasantly narrowed eyes. It made his face look even more foul than usual.

"I am here."

As he walked towards the bed, Potter moved to stand between him and Weasley.

"He's been helping…"

Potter did not get a chance to finish his sentence.

"Stay away from her!" Weasley shouted, his voice breaking. "I don't care if you were on our side all along; you don't come near her."

Severus folded his arms across his chest and glared past Potter at the boy. Hermione reached up and grabbed Weasley's sleeve.

"Ron, stop." As weak as her voice sounded, it still drew Severus's and the boys' attention. She closed her eyes, as if her last action had taken too much effort. When she opened them, she stared right at Severus.

"You're alive."

"I am, thanks to you, Miss Granger." Severus realized his voice may have had too much warmth in it when Potter's head turned slowly towards him and the boy narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Professor Snape's gratitude is apparent; he has been quite attentive to your care," Potter told her.

"You've been asleep over a month," Weasley added.

Apparently, Hermione hadn't realized the length of her convalescence. Her eyes widened and she looked like she was about to cry. Abruptly, her expression changed. Her lips pressed together in determination.

"Please leave." Hermione looked as fierce as Severus had ever seen her. Reluctantly he turned to leave the room and saw that Potter and Weasley did the same.

"Wait!" she called out. As one they all stopped. "Just you, Harry and Ron." Severus saw her swallow. "I wish to speak to Professor Snape alone."

Weasley looked fit to burst and after Hermione's request. Potter didn't look much happier. After a moment of tense silence Potter clasped Weasley's shoulder.

"Come on, Ron." Severus could see that Weasley's teeth were clenched, but he let his friend lead him out of the room.

Silence filled the infirmary. Severus stood quietly by the bedside as Hermione watched the doorway through which her friends had just exited. They were long gone before she spoke, her eyes never meeting Severus's.

"I want you to tell me the truth."

Her voice, harsh and quiet at the same time, unsettled Severus. He wondered if she would ever fully recover from the ordeal she had been through. He wondered if any of them would.

Hermione didn't wait for Severus to respond before continuing. "I did not want Harry or Ron to hear, so you can be perfectly honest when you answer my question." Severus's stomach turned over slowly as he wondered what she would want to keep from her friends.

"Which is?" He tried as best he could to sound like his old self, like the professor who both disliked and intimidated Gryffindor students.

Hermione looked Severus's right in the eyes. She seemed hesitant to speak what was on her mind but after all he had been through, he was prepared to answer anything she could possibly ask.

"Do you remember that night?"

Except, perhaps, that.

"I do not," he answered quietly. He did not have to ask to which night she was referring.

Hermione frowned. "I didn't think you would."

Severus wasn't sure how to respond. Should he ask her what she remembered? How she was feeling? After several moments of awkward silence, Hermione spoke again.

"Was I really asleep for a month?"

Severus nodded.

"Hmm," Hermione mused, picking at fuzz on her blanket. "So what's to happen now?" she asked, looking worried.

"Now?" Severus was unsure himself. "I suppose you can stay here until start of term, if you have nowhere else to go."

"Start of term?" Her eyes got wide in excitement. "You mean I can return to _school_?"

The girl was unbelievable. She had been in a coma for the better part of the summer and the first thing that returned colour to her cheeks was the prospect of learning? Was anybody truly that single-minded? Or was there another reason she was happy to remain at Hogwarts?

Severus abruptly halted that train of thought, the one that always led him to places he was not prepared to go.

"We have extended that courtesy to all who were impacted by the events of last year," he said. "So yes, if you are well enough, you may return to school."

The brightness of her smile made his chest clench. Thankfully, Poppy came in to check on her, having heard that she was awake, and Severus was able to retreat to the sanctity of his office.

* * *

The start of term came the way start of terms always do. The first-years were sorted; the Prefects and Head Boys and Girls proudly displayed their badges; and several students who should have already graduated sat with their classmates at the various House tables in the Great Hall.

Severus stood in front of the entire student body of Hogwarts, scanning the sea of faces in front of him. His speeches were short, to the point, and not filled with some of the nonsense of the previous Headmaster's, but he still didn't feel authentic. He never wished to be Headmaster and only took the position to fulfil his promise to Dumbledore to protect the students of Hogwarts.

The students no longer needed protecting.

He was still Headmaster.

"Students of Hogwarts: It is at a pivotal time that we find ourselves, one where there will be many opportunities to excel and help rebuild our world. As such, I expect you all to conduct yourselves in a manner befitting this auspicious time."

He had more prepared, but at that moment his eyes caught sight of Hermione in the crowd, her warm eyes watching him with what he might have mistaken for affection if he didn't know better, and he lost his train of thought. He folded his arms across his chest and scowled at the students, trying to look as intimidating as one might while they are attempting to regain composure.

"That is all. And remember the Forbidden Forest is… forbidden."

Some students in the back sniggered. He couldn't blame them; that last part was atrocious. As he took a step back from the podium he heard McGonagall clear her throat. When he glanced at her she tilted her head towards the far end of the Head Table. Severus sighed. He would have to address the students again and would not be able to camouflage his blunder.

"Ah yes. Please join me in welcoming Professor Figg, who will be teaching Muggle Studies this year." He waited for the polite applause to die down. "And until such time as someone can be found who is not afraid of the position, I will be teaching Defence Against The Dark Arts."

He looked to the Gryffindor table where all the seventh-years had their heads bent together, whispering. He had hoped for just one more glimpse, to see her reaction…

 _No_. He berated himself as he walked back to his place at the Head Table amid scattered applause that was, he noted, less than it had been for that Squib. Not that he was surprised. Despite the information that had come out to clear him, there were many who still did not trust him, who probably never would.

But why his fixation on the girl? Whatever was wrong with him – whatever strange pull he had developed towards her earlier in the summer – had not diminished. Could he still blame it on the fact that she had saved his life? Or was it more the depth her eyes had to them, or her intelligence, or her spirit?

No matter how hard he tried for the rest of the meal, his eyes wanted to find her in the crowd, to stare, to take her in. He fought, but it was a losing battle. Eventually he would be reduced to a gaping imbecile, no better than that useless boyfriend of hers. By the end of the meal there was no more denying it; there was much more to his feelings than gratitude.

* * *

It had become almost second nature to avoid her after almost two months of practice. He no longer had her in class, since she wasn't taking Defence Against The Dark Arts, so there was no reason for them to have any interaction. At least that's what he kept telling himself. Of course, the more he avoided her, the more the dreams came. And the more the dreams came, the more he tried to avoid her. It was a vicious circle; one Severus was not sure how to break.

On the night of Halloween he was having a particularly difficult time with it, the avoiding, because after dinner the tables were cleared away to allow for the Hallows Eve party. Everyone was mingling, students and teachers and ghosts alike, and it seemed to him that Fate was enjoying herself, putting Hermione in the way of everywhere Severus was trying to go.

Either that or the girl was following him.

She almost reached him at one point, but Weasley intercepted her. Severus saw her shrug off his touch and walk away from him. Weasley hung his head, defeated, and stalked over to the other side of the room where Severus was sure Potter was waiting to lick his wounds. He was surprised to see Weasley sit down alone. Severus looked to see where Hermione had got to and saw her off a ways from him, talking to Potter and the Weasley girl. He didn't have a chance to wonder about it because at that moment Hermione's eyes met his and she started towards him.

Severus did the only thing he could think of that would allow him to keep with his well formed plan of avoidance at all costs. He left the hall and went straight to his office where he would not be bothered and could remain in his own miserable company for as long as he wished.

He sat at the desk and began to rethink the avoidance plan. Initially it had seemed like a good idea. He felt something for Hermione, something far stronger than he had ever expected or really wanted to feel towards the girl, and he did not wish to encourage those feelings to continue. The best thing to do, he had thought, was ignore them, ignore her, and they would go away.

However, it was not working as planned; they only seemed to be growing stronger, possibly because his avoidance of her was not absolute. He still saw her at mealtimes. He still dreamed of her at night. He still thought about her at random and inopportune times during the day. He still wished to be forced out of his self-imposed withdrawal by a random encounter in the halls. He still couldn't believe how quickly and inexplicably these feelings had developed.

He sat at the large desk and rubbed his temples, trying to ward off the headache that was threatening assault. It didn't help that the gossipy portraits in his office found the students' teenaged drama entertaining and could often be heard nattering like hens about all aspects of the students' personal lives.

As if on cue, the din started.

"Did you hear about Luna Lovegood?"

"What did Looney do now?"

"She was seen kissing a _Slytherin_ at the party, just now."

"A _Slytherin_? Which Slytherin?"

"Does it matter?"

Severus tried to block out the chattering, but the next statement took him by surprise as much as it did the other Headmasters.

"It appears that Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger are broken up."

Phineas's announcement quieted the rest of the portraits.

Severus glanced up at Dumbledore's portrait, which winked at him. The old Headmaster was almost as irritating in death as he had been in life.

There were murmurings now, questions as to the validity of the information. Disgruntled, Phineas turned to Dumbledore for verification.

"Tell them, Albus."

To his credit, Dumbledore's portrait looked a little sheepish about discussing some of his favoured students. He gave Severus one more of his annoyingly knowing looks before answering.

"Yes, apparently he and Harry had a row and Hermione took Harry's side."

Despite himself, Severus was too interested to be annoyed at the fact that Potter was always the only one to be referred to by first name only. After all, who in their right mind would ever ask, ' _Which_ Harry?'

Phineas laughed. "As I heard it, Harry and Ginny Weasley were… partaking in activities that Ron did not approve of and happened to walk in on." Bile rose in Severus's throat as Phineas waited for the hoots and laughs of the other portraits to die down before continuing. "The upshot is Ron was so angry about what he thought was a complete disrespect for his sister and his family that he made a comment, because of the loss of his brother, that Harry had no idea what it was like to lose a family member."

Severus was shocked. That was ridiculously stupid, even for Weasley. Who in their right mind, with a fully functional brain, would tell the most famous orphan since… well, since the Dark Lord _himself_ that he didn't know what it was like to lose family? No wonder Hermione sided with Potter. Her intellect alone wouldn't allow for her to choose any other way.

There was a knock at the door. Instantly the portraits fell silent, though some were still huddled in each other's frames, whispering. Severus groaned and held his head. He wasn't expecting any of the other professors, so for one of them to come to his office unexpected a student must have done something and Severus was not in the mood to deal with discipline at the moment.

"Come in," he called, resigning himself to whatever unpleasantness lay ahead.

It was not a professor who entered.

"Hermione!" Severus snapped to his feet. Startled as he was, he was unable to keep the surprise from his voice. He quickly composed himself. "Miss Granger. What brings you here?" Belatedly he realized that a student had come to his office unaccompanied. "And how did you…?"

"Wolfsbane," she said, not waiting for him to finish. "Professor Dumbledore always used sweets." She crossed the room towards him. "I've been standing by the gargoyle for the past twenty minutes, reciting every potion ingredient I could think of."

The girl was bright, he would give her that. "Very clever, Miss Granger."

She leaned against the desk opposite him, a teasing smile on her face. "I liked it better when you called me 'Hermione'."

 _This_ was the purpose of the avoiding, to prevent this kind of reaction to one of his students. Severus took a deep breath, scowling to disguise the fact that his heart was racing.

"Regardless, that does not explain your purpose of coming here."

Hermione walked around the desk and stood in front of him. "I didn't think you'd want to be alone tonight."

He was dreaming. That was the only rational explanation. This was another one of his dreams and one of two things were about to happen involving kissing, nudity and either himself or one of his adversaries getting extremely lucky. He would then wake up in a sweat and have the rest of the night to berate himself for the inappropriateness of his subconscious.

As always in his dreams, Hermione initiated the touching. She placed her hand on his arm.

"I know this was the night she died. I know how you loved her." She gave his arm a little squeeze. "It must be so hard."

"It is h… _difficult_ ," he agreed. The response that almost came to his lips would have been accurate too, but even in his dreams he could not bring himself to use such innuendo with her.

"Do you still?" Her eyes were wide and innocent. "Love her, I mean?"

"I…" He wasn't sure how to proceed. This was not how the dreams ever progressed.

"Could you ever love someone else?"

He stared down at her face; so young, so innocent, so beautiful. He closed his eyes against the last thought.

As soon as he tasted the sweetness of her lips, the strawberry that must have been some sort of cosmetic product, he realised how mistaken he had been. Despite the response of his body he opened his eyes and pushed her away.

This was no dream. He was very much awake, in his office, kissing a student, and the worst part of the whole thing was that he was less than a whim away from allowing it to continue. No, not allowing – more like actively pursuing its continuation.

Hermione staggered, but did not look deterred.

"It's not the right time; you're not ready." Boldly, she placed her hands on his sides as she had so many times before, only this time it was real. "But you cannot deny it. There is something. I don't understand why or how; I don't know if what happened last spring is the cause; but it is inevitable."

Severus couldn't respond. Hermione ran her hands across his stomach before taking them off him.

"Just, please don't make me wait long." She smiled crookedly up at him, "Sev."

As she walked away from him and out the door he fell back into his chair, mouth open, but not too shocked to notice the appalled expressions on all but one of the former Headmasters' faces.

* * *

It might as well have been a dream.

Weeks passed; months passed. Winter came and left, covering the castle and surrounding grounds in a crisp white blanket only to fickly remove it at the first hint of spring. OWLs and NEWTs were taken by the upper level students. Time was moving, drawing ever closer to the day that Severus was dreading – and hating himself thoroughly for doing so.

Graduation.

He had spoken to Hermione three times since last October. Once when she wished him, "Happy Christmas." Once when she was sent with a letter for him from McGonagall, to which he said, "Thank you." And the third time when he had rounded a corner and ran into her and she said, "Pardon me."

And now this day had come and was, in actuality, drawing to a close. In a few short hours the girl who had occupied his thoughts for the past year would be on a train, leaving Hogwarts forever. If the past months had been any indication, she would probably do so without as much as a backwards glance.

The revelry in the Great Hall was too much for Severus and he left, walking right out of the castle into the courtyard, hoping the fresh air would help clear his head. He looked around, admiring how much progress had been made in repairing what had been destroyed last year at this same time. He laughed bitterly to himself. He too had been destroyed, and the one person he had to thank for repairing _him_ would probably walk out of his life forever tonight.

"The results of one day's battle have taken so long to undo."

Severus's back stiffened. He recognized the voice and forced himself to turn slowly.

"They always do." Severus wanted to walk towards her but his feet would not move. "Destruction comes far easier than creation."

She remained where she stood as well. "I remember that night as if it was yesterday."

Severus smiled sullenly. "I do not."

Hermione crossed the distance between them. "Then I will make sure that _tonight_ stays in your memory."

Her hands reached out to touch him but he met them with his and held them away. "This is not right."

She frowned. "Do you not want to be here with me?" He did not respond and she took it as encouragement to continue. "I've cast a Shield Charm – I have some practice with them – so no one will see us."

His resolve was cracking, showing chinks in its armour. It took its biggest blow when he realized she was technically no longer his student. He decided to be honest with her. He was tired of lying.

"I don't know how this happened, why I have these feelings." He paused. "But I want to be here with you."

As soon as he released her hands she took the opportunity to put them at his sides and pull herself closer to him.

"For me, it happened because I got to see you, through your memories." She dropped her gaze uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. Harry let me see them."

He couldn't stand not being able to look into her eyes and he reached out to tilt her chin up.

"What did you see?" He realized his voice was too forceful, but only because he was trying to keep it from shaking. Hermione didn't seem to notice.

"Someone who made some mistakes, but realized they were wrong and repented. Someone who I would have stuck up for, had I been in school with him. Someone who deserves so much more than he's gotten out of life. Someone…"

He put a finger over her mouth, silencing her. "I was mistaken." His voice was a whisper. "I know exactly why."

He kissed her, pressing her against him. He kissed her there, in the courtyard, not caring if her Shield Charm would hold. He kissed her, for a very long time, and she kissed him, unaware of anything but each other.

It did not stop with the kissing. The Hermione in his dreams had nothing on the reality before him. Hidden inside the brilliant girl who had sat in his class for years was a sensual being, the likes of which Severus could never have imagined.

"I gave you part of me last year, to save you," she breathed. "I have never been whole since." She looked longingly into his eyes. "Let me give you all of me now."

Severus swallowed hard. "To save _you_?"

"No." Hermione giggled, but then was serious again. "Because I want to."

He did not question her further, nor did anything else deter them. Hermione's Shield Charm held strong the entire time, a testament to the girl's magical skills, since her mind and body were completely wrapped around Severus.

When they broke apart from each other, Severus carefully held the girl in his arms, wiping away a stray hair that had stuck to her forehead. He did not smile but regarded her tenderly and hoped Hermione realized that he, at that moment, was perfectly content to stay with her, in her arms, for as long as she'd allow; tonight, and for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of hugs and super thanks to Chloe for her thorough beta. Credit for the title goes to JunoMagic. Credit for the characters goes to JKR, obviously.
> 
> Written for JunoMagic for her birthday.


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